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This is what happens there.

I can tell you.

ALRIGHT I’M A BIT LATE TO THIS POST BUT WHATEVER

THIS MAN IS BRIAN KIDD AND HE GOES BY THE UNIPIPER AND HE IS THE ABSOLUTE SHIT. IN 2005 WHILE STUDYING MARINE BIOLOGY AT THE UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA, HE WAS LEARNING TO PLAY THE BAGPIPES AND FOUND A UNICYCLE IN A  DUMPSTER. SO WHAT DOES HE DO? HE TAKES THE UNICYCLE AND LEARNS HOW TO RIDE IT.

IN 2007 HE IS WORKING AT A PAID INTERNSHIP AT AN AQUARIUM IN THE OUTER BANKS OF NORTH CAROLINA. HE IS PERFORMING AT WEDDINGS AS A BAGPIPER BECAUSE, SURPRISE SURPRISE, HE WAS THE ONLY ONE FOR HIRE. ONE NIGHT HIM AND HIS MARINE FRIENDS ARE GETTING DRUNK AND HE  THINKS “would it be cool if I rode a unicyle AND played bagpipes? shit I mean I guess” AND HE DID IT. ALSO THIS MAN JUST SO  HAPPENS TO HAVE A FRIEND WHO REALLY LIKES FIRE. SO THEY GAVE HIM THE HOOK UP.

HE STARTS RIDING AROUND THE STRIPS IN THE EVENINGS AND IS LIKE “shit son I be making so much money”. AT THE END OF 2007 HE MOVED TO PORTLAND OR AND STARTED PERFORMING AT RESTAURANTS, WEDDINGS, FUNERALS, AND FARMERS MARKETS

IN 2010 HE WAS LIKE “I’m gonna audition for America’s Got Talent. With a Darth Vader Mask. Playing the Imperial March”. BUT FUCKING SHOW DIRECTORS WERE LIKE “We don’t think we can get the rights for that song” SO HE HAD TO JUST DO HIS THING OF PLAYING BAGPIPES. DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT. NEXT YEAR, AUDITIONED IN SEATTLE WITH CHANGING HATS AND ROUTINES. STILL DIDN’T MAKE IT. HOWEVER THE INTERNET TOOK HIM BY STORM AND PORTLAND RECOGNIZES HIM AS OUR MASCOT.

THIS GUY GOT MARRIED TO THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE (her name is Sarah) IN A KILT BECAUSE “She has a thing for men in Kilts”

WHAT A BAMF.. (note:The mask was only for this picture, everything else was traditional)

HIS FIRST OUTFIT WAS SANTA, BUT HE IS MOST FAMOUS FOR DARTH VADER, AND AT ONE POINT UNIPIPED DOWN THE STREETS. DURING A FLOOD. AS GANDALF. 

I WAS IN LINE FOR PORTLAND CITY COMIC CON LAST FEBRUARY. NEVER BEEN TO A COMIC CON, STANDING IN LINE ALONE IN MY SHITTY ASS COSPLAY. ALL THE FUCKING SUDDEN BAGPIPES START BLARING AND THIS MAN. THIS GLORIOUS MAN IN A DARTH VADER HELMET AND KILT, STARTS PLAYING THE BAGPIPES ON A UNICYCLE. HE JUST SHOWS UP AND STARTS WRECKING SHIT UP. HE STARTS WITH THE STAR WARS THEME, EVERYBODY GET HYPED. HE TAKES A BREAK FOR A MOMENT, GETS BACK ON, AND STARTS PLAYING THE PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN THEME. IN THIS GET UP. AND THAT’S WHEN THE FLAMES STARTED. SHIT WAS SO REAL.

ALSO HE IS UBER HOT JUST LOOK AT HIM

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS HE IS A BAMF AND WE LOVE HIM AND GOSH WHAT AN AMAZING HUMAN BEING. KEEP PORTLAND WEIRD, YOU BEAUTIFUL SON OF A BITCH.

HE IS THE BEST THOUGH I HAVE ONLY SEEN HIM ONCE. I WAS DOWNTOWN WANDERING AROUND WITH SOME PEEPS AND WE HERE THIS GLORIOUS SOUND OF BAGPIPES FROM LIKE 20 BLOCKS AWAY BECAUSE THOSE FUCKERS ARE LOUD. THEN THIS AWESOME SONOFABITCH COMES UNICYCLING DOWN LIKE A BOSS WITH HIS FLAMES. BEST DAY EVER

#YourDisneySideCantCompareToHis

whatthewhowhat

explain me a thing please.

It reads like a Portlandia sketch.

I love it.

that was wild from start to finish

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